Do you have “M Power” ? The secret ingredient of women’s success

“The most common way people give up power is by thinking they don’t have any” Alice Walker

I decided October was going to be all about empowerment. Autumn had arrived, inspiring me to think of what we, like autumn shedding its leaves, need to let go of to make space for our growth. This word came to mind. Then I started thinking, what do I actually mean by that and what does the word mean? Is it just me or do you use words as a matter of course but when asked what do YOU mean by that, you have not truly reflected on that? If I am honest that’s what happened here, in the sense that I have never truly reflected about what I mean in the context of my coaching business and women’s circles.

Yes I have delivered countless leadership workshops and we talk about empowerment a lot in that space. When I looked up the dictionary definition, it makes sense as to why it is important for leaders. You cannot achieve your results without empowering and enabling the performance of your teams:

1. the giving or delegation of power or authority; authorization
2. the giving of an ability; enablement or permission

Here, as the leader, you empower others through delegation, authority levels, skill building and by getting out of the way. A leader can often be a blockage too when it comes to empowering others. Sometimes it truly is about learning how to remove yourself from the equation in a way that gives you comfort that the job is being done and you are not stifling your employees.

I was thinking it more in relation to personal empowerment. To be honest, it’s not really that different.This is still about leadership – being the leader in your own life. You cannot achieve the results you want in life without empowering and enabling yourself. It does not come from someone or the outside world. No, you give it to yourself, it comes from you. It is about removing the obstacles which get in the way of you showing up fully in this world exactly as you are, not who you think you should be. It’s about giving yourself permission to live aligned with and acting from your own values, vision, and integrity. When I ask women in my women’s circles and coaching sessions – what is getting in the way of you feeling fully empowered, the answer is always ME.I’m getting in my own way! Just like the leaders do sometimes!

As I let these words flow from me onto this piece of paper, I actually do not think empowerment is a thing but rather a way of being – actively present and consciously choosing how you are in the world. Owning all your own thoughts, feelings, behaviours and being 100% responsible for yourself. Not easy! It is within us all but often we do not feel empowered or able to empower ourselves. Why not? Because we spend so much time giving it away! We are in our own heads riddled with guilt, doubting, allowing our inner critic way too much space and not taking care of ourselves.

So, here are a few things to think about in relation to your ‘MPower’. You could be giving it away by:

1. Being a people pleaser, trying to please everyone … not possible
2. Being unwilling to be unliked at times… N.B not everyone will like you, no surprise there, you do not like everyone!
3. Not being clear about what your own wants and needs are. How can someone else take care of you, if you do not know how to.
4. Not speaking up for yourself and what you truly believe … what DO I think?
5. Buying into “good girl” syndrome.
6. Letting the stories of not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough play on constant loop in your mind…. Enough … is this really true ask yourself. You may find most of the old narratives you play time and time again in your head were written on the mental chalkboard aged 8 when you didn’t know any better!
7. Not knowing or accepting your gifts,talents and uniqueness
8. Not being able to accept compliments …. Oh, this old thing…. Oh, it wasn’t me I had help from the team
9. Berating yourself for not being perfect …. breaking news.. no-one is. Focusing on what we don’t have or can’t do,not what you do have or can do.
10. And constantly apologising when you’ve done nothing wrong. A personal bug bear. Why because I do it and hate it when I do. Sorry for asking, sorry for disturbing …. Sorry not sorry. Spend a day and note how many times you say sorry …

I’m sure we can all relate or resonate with this, we are after all human. But maybe it is time to claim back some of the power you are giving away. A good start is think about what it truly takes to empower yourself.

Sounds like hard work! As it is not easy to do, is it worth it to work on giving yourself the power to be you? Hell yes!

You get your needs met too; you live the life you want not the one you think you should have. You get to walk into that room and no longer feel the need to compare yourself to anyone. You get to feel good about yourself and all your imperfections too. They are just as much a part of you. You get to enjoy your success and achievements, big and small and celebrate beautiful you. You get to fail because you see it as learning. You get to be a role model for younger women coming behind you. When you speak confidently, take risks, own your accomplishments, take care of yourself and stand up for yourself, you show them a different way, you empower them too. Achieve things you did not even think possible. You get to be the real perfectly imperfect, beautiful you. The outside world becomes a source of inspiration not desperation when you do the inner work.

So, it is worth a little delve into looking at how you could stand even more full in your own power. I think so but it is much easier to do it in the company of others as you explore what do you want your life to be about, who you want to be and what experiences you want to create and how to empower yourself more.

“The empowered woman is powerful beyond measure and beautiful beyond description”

If you are looking for a great place to delve deeper into this topic in a supportive, accepting , powerful space way, then join us at Grit and Grace Women’s circle where our one aim is to empower each other.

I’m an inner beauty coach I work with women who are feeling disconnected, stuck or have lost their sparkle to fall back in love with themselves and life to become a happier, healthier more empowered version of themselves, inside and out.I help you connect and build your inner courage,strength and compassion to live life your way, create a new path forward and let the real you shine through. So perhaps you’d like to explore coaching with me to help you feel the most powerful and fully aligned you’ve ever been. Now, not one day when. If so and you’d like to learn more about how I might be able to support you,pop over to my website, or click on this link to book in now

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